Tuesday, November 10, 2009

NaNoWriMo Day 10

Well, it is mid-afternoon on Day 10 and I have reached 17,000 words which is above the daily quota :D Kelsey has helped me try to figure out some plot twists and things to throw in so that I can add words, make it more interesting, and of course not get to board with it.

I used Write or Die again today and wrote 830 words in about 20 minutes. I think Write or Die is a super helpful tool! I know I keep talking about it but it really works for me.

So, here is an excerpt and a synopsis of my novel taken from the first chapter with [brackets added] one time for clarification. This is the same excerpt that I have on my NaNoWriMo page.

Synopsis: Mermaid

Nerin is a mermaid with a horrible life. She has no father, a depressed mother, and an annoying/emotional older brother. After running away from her wedding to a merman named Merrick, her mother only gives her 2 years to find another husband. However, love doesn't come to Nerin right away. A year later, she is still single with no prospective husband in sight. Will she find love in the ocean? Or will she find true love somewhere else?

Excerpt: Mermaid

Merrick stood there, looking quite conceited. I thought he was supposed to look happy on his wedding day but his mouth formed a look of satisfaction for oneself. Oh his smugness. I can hardly stand it now. How can I stand to spend the next eighty-one years of my life with him?

The wedding coordinator started. “Merrick of Delta Marisol, do you take Nerin, also of Delta Marisol, to be your wife until you both depart this form and again become foam of the sea?”

“Yes,” Merrick said.

“And do you, Nerin of Delta Marisol, take Merrick, also of Delta Marisol, to be your husband until you both depart this form and again become foam of the sea?”

I stood there, and blinked. How could I? I was leaving one miserable home for yet another. I was leaving my crazy Mother and emotional brother for the smug Merrick. How could I do that?

“No,” I whispered.

“Speak up,” the wedding coordinator whispered to me. I must have said it softer than I had thought.

“No,” I said louder, much louder. “I will not take Merrick to be my husband,” I said to the coordinator. “I am sorry,” I turned to Merrick, “but I really do not think we are supposed to be together. I hope you find the one you are supposed to be with and that you live a happy life together,”

Merrick’s look of satisfaction for himself turned into shock. I left as fast as I could back down the aisle I had come from and went straight to my small dressing room, locking the door. I hadn’t even looked at my Mother’s face. I am sure it was a look of horror.

It wasn’t two seconds before my Mother came to the door. “Open up, Nerin!” she shouted, “You must marry him,” she insisted.

“Or what? Surely you will take me back into your home, Mother. I am sorry but I just can’t marry him,”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Surely you can see why. He’s so arrogant,” I said, the truth coming out.

“You are so ungrateful! You get out here, you are getting married,”

“Leave me alone, Mother,” I begged, “Just leave me alone.”

She began on another rampage, which I ignored. Meanwhile, Amaya [my best friend] came around the building and tapped on my window. I unlocked it and let her in. I put my finger up to my mouth, signaling her to be quite. She nodded and we sat down and I started softly crying into her chest. She patted my head and stroked my back as my Mother continued on her escapade.

“Fine,” my Mother at last began to wrap things up. “If you don’t want to marry him, then you will have to find another husband, and soon. I am giving you two years. And that’s being generous,” she said, as if she was doing me a favor, and then she left.

Please tell me what ya think! Thanks :)

Later edit in March 2010: I have edited this first chapter a lot since then so don't hold this terrible writing against me, lol. You have to write fast during NaNoWriMo if you want to survive! :)


  1. Even though your done, can I still make a comment/suggestion?

  2. Wow, I just saw this comment, sorry! Yes, you can if you want - I would love that. E-mail me or just comment.

  3. Haha its cool :)

    I was just gonna say,

    maybe you should explain why she is marrying this guy in the first place. Like is it an arranged marriage? Did she feel like she had to say yes when he first asked her? Or what. And also why does this guy want to marry her?
    It might also be good if you showed how this guy was arrogant and any other reasons that she doesn't want to marry him. And if you had the main character look out and see her best friend you wouldn't have to explain who she is when the friend comes to the window.

    :) Just suggestions but overall your chapter was really good :)

  4. Wow! Thanks a lot Sammie! I agree about showing his arrogance more. I do have a flashback later on in the book but I don't want to lose my audience right away, lol. And I will also work on those other things. Thanks again!


Thanks for commenting!